We all have personal demons, it helps to name them so that we might banish them.
The cravings are insatiable. You’ve tried to fulfill them with everything #pills #booze #food #drugs #sugar… but nothing helps. You feel terrible but you keep trying to fill that empty space inside of you. You beat yourself up about your relapses. You chastise yourself for your weakness. And the hungry ghosts feed on your negativity. The reason you can’t satiate yourself is because it’s not your hunger. It belongs to the hungry ghosts that have attached themselves to you. Their stomachs are bottomless and your self loathing draws them to you. You can fill that hole, with love. Love for yourself. Starve the ghosts or join them in the afterlife in your continued effort to satiate your desires…
Above is a Repost from March of 2018.
Note on March 22nd 2020: When this post was published it was after losing too many people to the opioid epidemic, but really this is a subject that is always relevant. It seems particularly important right now as people are stuck home in isolation. It is sometimes easier to swallow your worries than to face them head on. This extra time at home, though unasked for, can be a time of healing and taking care of things that have been put off for years. But don’t be too hard on yourself if you aren’t adhering to lists and plans, just try to be aware of what you are doing and why and then push forward. Personally, I am usually a production machine… but for the last week I have found myself spinning. Obsessing over articles about the pandemic around the world and how it might effect the economy. I have caught myself more than once stuffing my face with sugar and drinking more wine than necessary. But I recognized it as compulsive behavior that I was using to cope and then told myself ‘oops, thats enough’ and moved on. We are human after all. Sometimes we have to relearn a lesson. That is ok. Recognize the relapse and love yourself anyway.
If you are suffering and thinking of relapsing and swallowing your concerns, try some self care to practice instead. Take a bath, cook yourself a healthy meal, stretch, exercise, read a book, write a book, create something etc. If you are ready to face yourself head on, try this exercise; Look into the mirror for ten minutes without looking away. Be mindful of the sort of thoughts you are having. Are they negative? If yes than how and about what? Are these thoughts about things that you would like to change about yourself and can but have not? Or are these negative thoughts about things that you cannot change? What ever it is, take note and either face it or let it go. Both are a processes. Some days will be good and some will be bad, cause that is how life goes. Learn to love yourself everyday either way, you will be surprised at how much easier this journey through life becomes.
Also you do not have to do this alone! The information below is copied from American Addiction Centers –
https://americanaddictioncenters.org/rehab-guide/alcohol-drug-hotline
Free Hotline Resources
The following hotline resources are free, confidential, and available 24/7:
- Al-Anon and Ala-teen hotline line: 800-356-9996 – Counselors provide support to teens and adults who are negatively impacted by alcohol addiction and provide resources to group therapy nearby for ongoing support.
- Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA): 1-800-662-4357 – English/Spanish speaking counselors provide referrals to treatment facilities, support groups, and community-based services.
- National Suicide Prevention: 1-800-273-8255 – Support to help those in crisis process their emotional distress and prevent suicide.
- Boys Town: 1-800-448-3000 – Over 140 languages can be translated; they also provide a telecommunications device for the deaf (TDD) line for the speech and hearing impaired (1-800-448-1833).
- Drugfree.org: call 855-378-4373 or text 55753 – Counselors provide support and education and guide you to the best course of action.
